So why is Teri Weigle telling Naughty America that she Loves me like a brother?

I’m serious. Teri and I have been bumping uglies for as long as I can remember. Granted I have terrible recollection and I black out when I get really bored BUT come on!

“When we were younger, we did each other — and Ron was great!” she said. “I’ve always looked up to him because he’s very smart. He was a teacher and he’s a classical pianist. He’s a brilliant man and I’ve gotten to see that side of him.”

That’s classic friend zone nonsense. See all those compliments that have nothing to do with my penis?

That’s fin cause ol’ Ron isn’t new to the GAME. 5 ways to escape the friend zone below the jump.

1 – Make her think that you don’t need her. Cause you don’t. You know how to wipe your ass and breath right? You don’t need anybody. She’s just a fickle girl and the more interested you are the less interested she is.

2 – Let her know you find her attractive but she has competition. Don’t be obvious as per the rule number 1. You compliment her shoes and then talk about some random woman’s rack. You can see the gears in her head spinning as she compares that lady’s boobs to hers and wonders if they’re up to your standards.

3 – Make sure your ‘lady friend’ knows you have high standards. But if you don’t and she’s seen you macking it at the welfare offices then you might be outta luck. She doesn’t want to be in the same category as the other filthy vaginas you coerce back to your futon at The Y.

4 – Send conflicting signals. This is a lil vague I know but that’s the point. Ambiguity, like just inviting her out to dinner as a friends thing but going somewhere expensive and fancy, can be confusing. She’s going to assign her own meaning to this. If you follow the steps above she should be want to read your signals in a romantic way.

5 – She’s gotta know you are a sexual being. She has to see you on a date with another woman. She has to see you as being desired by other women. If you can actually get a woman to tell her that you were good in bed, that’d probably work best.

Remember I’m neither a licensed sex therapist or very good at giving advice. So, take all of this with a grain of salt.

Good luck fellas,

-R