Ron Jeremy: The Chuck Norris of Porn

Ron Jeremy versus Chuck Norris

Many on the web today have titled Ron Jeremy as “The Chuck Norris of Porn.” Most people would count a comparison to a legend like Chuck Norris as a feather in their cap, but who’s acclaim is more epic?

A line of witty jokes that spans for miles has been coined for the life and career of the Chuckster, but where are Ron’s? This is sheer BLASPHEMY! The wake of pure porn magnificence that follows Ron Jeremy everywhere he goes has to contain exponentially more possibility for witty banter than Chuck Norris’ entire kick-ass works combined. We here at RonJeremy.com believe this needs to change.

How many popular Chuck Norris jokes would make more sense if Ron Jeremy was the topic?

Examples:

“Ron Jeremy once had sex with every nun in a convent. 9 months later they gave birth to the cast of Real World Cancun.”

“Ron Jeremy once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.”

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Ron Jeremy, Best-selling Author

New York Magazine plugs my book ‘Ron Jeremy: The Hardest [Working] Man in Show Business.

HarperCollins’s Book Expo cocktail party Saturday night, on the Fox film lot (thanks, Rupert Murdoch), was designed to make every last bookseller feel like a star, its red carpet lined with thirties-style stock-character paparazzi. There were a few genuine quasi-celebrities in attendance: Audra McDonald, Muriel Hemingway, Kevin Nealon, and. … Ron Jeremy? Wearing a black blazer, a T-shirt reading “Pay to Play,” dark-gray jeans, and blue Crocs over bare feet, the world’s most famous male porn star was deep in conversation with a couple of Borders sales reps when we caught up with him.

Jeremy was at BEA for his book, Hardest (Working) Man in Show Business, now in paperback, which “didn’t get a single bad review,” and, he frequently reminded us, is a best seller. “Call me anything on the planet but you have to add on ‘and … a best-selling author,’” he said, insisting it’ll be in his obituary. “‘He was this, this, this, this, a lot of dick jokes, now he’s really stiff, and best-selling author.’”

Someday I’ll have to let you read my obit. The double entendres are so fast and furious it’s like Oscar Wilde wrote the thing.

-R