Many on the web today have titled Ron Jeremy as “The Chuck Norris of Porn.” Most people would count a comparison to a legend like Chuck Norris as a feather in their cap, but who’s acclaim is more epic?
A line of witty jokes that spans for miles has been coined for the life and career of the Chuckster, but where are Ron’s? This is sheer BLASPHEMY! The wake of pure porn magnificence that follows Ron Jeremy everywhere he goes has to contain exponentially more possibility for witty banter than Chuck Norris’ entire kick-ass works combined. We here at RonJeremy.com believe this needs to change.
How many popular Chuck Norris jokes would make more sense if Ron Jeremy was the topic?
Examples:
“Ron Jeremy once had sex with every nun in a convent. 9 months later they gave birth to the cast of Real World Cancun.”
“Ron Jeremy once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.”
“Faster than a speeding bullet … more powerful than a locomotive … able to leap tall buildings in a single bound… yes, these are some of Ron Jeremy’s cock’s warm-up exercises.”
“Ron Jeremy can fuck you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your female descendants will occasionally clutch their vaginas and yell “What The Hell was That?”
“Ron Jeremy discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Ron Jeremy is even more epic than in this one. When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Ron Jeremy cock-slapped him in the face. We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking.”
Our list could go on forever, but we want to hear from the true Ron Jeremy fans. Post your favorite Ron Jeremy jokes in reply to this post. The best of the best will be highlighted here on Ron Jeremy’s Official Blog.
Ron Jeremy once fucked a girl in New York City… and he was standing in New Jersey at the time.
Ron is so big, when he lies on his back with a hard-on, women use it as a stripper pole.
Ron is so big, when he wants to masturbate, he has to borrow King Kong’s hand.
Ron is so big, when he wants to measure his dick, he has to hire a surveyor.
Ron’s dick is so big, the first time he saw a picture of the Leaning Tower of Pizza, he thought he had a brother.
Ron is so big, when he wants to tuck his dick back in his pants he has to use a garden hose spindle.
Ron Jeremy put a tiger’s paw on his cock and used it to scratch baby tigers.
Ron Jeremy’s penis is known, in some circles, as Jacob’s Ladder.
Ron Jeremy once skull-fucked Chuck Norris while Chuck Norris reached around and fingered Ron Jeremy’s butt.
Ron Jeremy is really named Tim Stevenson