Hey Ron.

Um….im not actually what you call your target audience. I’ve never seen any of your films before and although I have the hardware as a fellow man, I’m not exactly a whippersnapper either, despite the fact im 21.

But i picked up your book the other day during an impulse move on my lunch break because reception duty is as fun as watching the fucking grass grow with dog shit smeared on it. And I ate that book up. Previously from picking it up I just heard you from pop culture references here and there, maybe I figured it’d nice to get to know you.

So there you are Ron, just in case after making the book you hope to see yourself as not only a guy with a big dick but also as a living, breathing human being (im actually asian..so you’re entire book was almost a sad joke on my reality). But take it from someone who knew absolutely nothing about you prior to reading the book, I really feel you’re one hell of guy. I think all along you wanted to be known for something but you’ve never defined yourself once in your entire book with this term:

An artist.

Hey Ron!
Perhaps sleeping, like burping, can be seen as a compliment. I mean, you were so comfortable you had to relax. I think everyone understood. I did have fun, hope you did (at least a little bit) too.